The Whole Mom
Redefining Motherhood
What about Dad?
Who's supporting him?
When a baby is a born the mother tends to receive the brunt of the impact when it comes to her physical and mental health. While we understand how important it is for moms to have the support they need as they’re transitioning into the postpartum period, I can’t help but recognize how minimal the supports are for dads, especially when they are left to bear the burdens they may know nothing about.
Yes, moms are walking an unlit path, learning about their baby, adjusting to motherhood, and adapting to their changing hormones and mindset. It’s alot, and it can be exacerbated or minimized depending on how well the dad/partner is prepped to offer his support.
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New Role
We thrust dads into this new role too, expecting him to protect, provide, and support mom when he’s not exactly sure what’s happening to her. He’s scared. He’s confused. He’s lonely, and his supports and resources are even fewer than moms, so he’s really left to scurry around in the dark trying to find a way out, with no one to share it with.
Dad’s not likely going to therapy in those first few months as he’s more concerned with taking care of his home. He’s not going to the barbershop or golfing and telling his friends he’s depressed or anxious, or even scared. He’s retreating, trying to draft a plan of how to be the most helpful partner he can be…alone.
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The 2024 Dad
His perspective is important and his mental health is crucial to mom’s recovery and adjustment into motherhood. So, why are we expecting him to “figure it out” too? Wouldn’t it be helpful if he had a guide, or someone place to start? Wouldn’t it be better for everyone if he didn’t have to ask how to help, but rather KNEW where to start in that process?
The 2024 dads want to help, want to be the parent their wife’s can lean on, so we have to create spaces for them to feel safe and tools for them to use so this can happen. It’s difficult for anyone to do things they may have never seen done before, so giving them a place to begin will be all the more rewarding.
Dads Postpartum Toolbox
This toolbox is for the dad, or dad to be, who is looking to be as prepared as possible for fatherhood, and sometimes that means supporting his partner who might be struggling with her adjustment into motherhood.
This toolbox will provide you with a framework for how to help without being told, and who doesn't love that?
When a baby is brought into the home the dynamics and operations significantly change forcing moms and dads to learn new skills during a time of chaos. Mom's mental health is drastically changing due to hormonal adjustments and being responsible for another life. There might be times when Dad feels like he is watching the main event from the sidelines because he isn't equipped with the tools or knowledge to feel helpful. Rather than feeling like a spectator in your own life, download my free toolbox for Dads and learn how you can gear up to provide some relief to the main player.
Dr. Nicole Kumi
PhD, PMH-C
Perinatal Mental Health Expert
Founder of The Whole Mom
I’m Dr. Nicole Kumi, a perinatal mental health specialist who works with new moms and families, during, after, and beyond pregnancy to prepare and assist them with the impact that motherhood has on their mental health. I’m a wife and mother of two who suffered from perinatal mood and anxiety disorders after both of my children’s births, and leaned into those experiences to create innovative services for others based on what I wished I had during those times.
My Services
1:1 Coaching and Courses
I provide 1:1 coaching services designed to walk alongside moms/dads during the perinatal period. I find coaching to be less aggressive than therapy, focusing on where you are, and where you want to go. My coaching is a unique approach incorporating weekly zoom calls and daily Voxer support so my clients never feel alone. They can ask questions, seek validation, and get a quick dose of encouragement just be sending a voice memo. The zoom calls are a chance to sit face to face and process the week, and any challenges or follow up they had from previous sessions. I want to be what I wished I had. Someone I could text and just know I wasn’t on this journey alone, even when it felt like it. *pssst, I do this for Dads too.
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I have created online courses that are designed for moms/families to take on their own time, and are blended with a 1:1 call or 3 month membership to my virtual motherhood community, The Nest.
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If you are interested in learning more about my coaching services and what they would look like for Dads, fill out the application below and it will prompt a 20 minute free consult where we can talk about that.
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Virtual Community
The Nest is a safe space where moms at all different stages of their journey come to connect, support, encourage, and validate one another. It’s a place where moms can show up and not have to explain or justify how, or what they are feeling, and leave feeling heard and loved. This community has weekly discussion, group coaching calls, private groups, q/a sessions, and my courses. It’s a one stop shop of sorts for moms across the world.
